Somehow being in this 1 star hotel in Kampar, watching Blogger Boy on TV, makes me want to write this blog. Blogger Boy seems promising. Although the theme is always the same, boy meets girl and we get more confused every day. Sigh** I guess that is the essence of human life. Love and confusion.

Anyway, this dodgy hotel…what’s interesting is that there’s a sign in the toilet saying that do not flush the toilet with condom..ahaa…I wonder whether they change the sheet often. I hope so.

It reminds me to the hotel in HK. It’s so dodgy..you just couldn’t stop imagining things! Feels like you’re in a B rated Hong Kong movie.

Another dodgy hotel experience that I can’t seem to forget was Rome. An unknown person unlocked the room while I was sleeping. Takut!

Despite the dodgyness it is indeed an experience.

I read this thing about being struck by the irkness. How comforting to know that I’m not the only one feeling annoyed with everything around me.

My friends used to give me these negative comments  when I did something good. I think I just annoyed them when I was being nice…but I’m no longer friends with these people. So that explains a lot of things (notice my irkness?) I can’t help it. Not sure whether this is permanent or temporary but according to the article, there’s no definite time when this irkness will go away. I’m not sure I want the irkness to go away…mmph…

anyway, despite being hateful…there were indeed a lot of sad news that I’ve been receiving lately.

a cousin died, my uncle died and recently a close friend lost her dad. I can’t stop but to think about life and death. How fragile life is and how real death is…and how surreal it feels. Al-fatihah to them.

The term is finally ending! wohoo…I can’t wait, although I have like million things to do right now ~ marking assignments, proof reading thesis, keying in marks..and the list goes on and on…god! I’ve not been feeling this tired before.

Making a lot of grown-up decisions right now..loans and more loans. You work hard and spend even harder huh…

Somehow with all those complaints I’m actually doing pretty ok…and starting to enjoy life a little bit now but…I’m still glad the term is ending!

It has been a while I feel like writing. Most of the time I was traveling back and forth - if this what it means by the phrase ‘life on the run’ then this is what it is.

Too much reading (never thought that I will feel this way about reading) but tons of drafted proposals just making me dizzy

Simple things like changing my ibook wallpaper, downloading songs, watching movie online feel refreshing. Now, I have this wonderful picture of ‘Darwin’ by Matthias Klum as my wallpaper..wohoo! It’s breathtaking…and listening to my latest obsession ~ cookie jar by Jack Jackson…

The semester is finally over. Dem! I don’t realize that I actually going to miss the kids.

……………….

And I would turn on the TV, but it’s so embarrassing,
To see all the other people, I don’t know what they mean.
And it was magic at first when they spoke without sound,
But now this world is gonna hurt.
You’d better turn that thing down.
Turn it around.

I spent my saturday hooked on dvds. Always the best reason to stay inside and do nothing…hehe…went to have dinner with Kuhan, just to make sure that I stay sane..and it’s valentine. Such a wonderful feeling seeing people selling roses by the road. Somehow Bangsar didn’t feel so Bangsar anymore
Sunday is more demanding. Preparation for Monday classes, catching up with readings..suddenly remembering, I was supposed to plan my time but again it was already too late! Hopefully next week will be much better.

The traveling is really taking toll on me…wondering,should I give up KL and embrace a much quieter town. Ohh even the thought scares me! I l didn’t realize I love this town too much.

I decided to write.

Currently in the mood of doing nothing (see my facebook). I had 5 classes on Monday ~ that was the only time I was being productive. Something about young minds inspire me. Good enough reason to be an academician (well, I’m far from being a qualified academician but it does feel good to think that I can strive to become one haha).

I read a bit, my staples ~ KLue and Forward. KLue’s Feb ed. is pretty interesting. Read Becoming Human by Michelle Gunaselan. There is so much truth and bravery in it. Are we opinionated or just plain stupid? mmph…

Planning for a trip to an island. Oh God…I really need a break. Right now I really need to sort out my life…and my priority. I think few major decisions are going to break my heart but I really can’t do this anymore.

Valentine Day is few days away. Forget about the couples haha…this is the time for self-reflecting on why are you still single and most importantly are you happy? Well, personally having a steady relationship is just too much work..hehe and hassle. Perhaps we are shy to admit, the singles…we are happy in our comfort zone and to date or get married, well…a lot of things need to change! unless you are willing to change and give up those comfortableness (well, you have to be really strong when  you think you need a man or a woman, or plenty of men or women haha)..you will only see it as another valentine…duh…

I am becoming lazy. God, please give me strength to be less cynical, more positive and less pretending and more of myself..muahaha.. Happy fast forward valentine.

I had just changed my wallpaper. It’s a beautiful photo of Benina Express Train by Joe Patronite. I found the wallpaper in the national geographic’s website. One of my favourite past times is browsing through the website and looking at the wonderful photos and thinking ‘ what a wonderful journey these people had taken and how lucky to get to see the world and to capture it beautifully..’ Just like my sentence, my thoughts are endless…haha…

Anyway, I felt like I just realized that it’s no longer 2008 and it’s a beginning of a new year. This week has been stressful..with the new job and being really uncertain at how things will turn out to be, tonight I suddenly feel very tired.

i hope that my life will be back on track just like the train..and ready to move forward to a particular destination…and I’m still wondering where that will be?

The Road to Mecca is a must read. It’s insightful and exciting. It makes you understand a bit more about the Muslim world and it gives you this opportunity to share the author’s journey, through the land and through the heart. I’m all excited that the documentary will be out soon…just couldn’t wait for it! yeay!

http://www.mischief-films.com/sub2.php?ID=3&S=E

Another profound movie - 3 iron. I borrowed the dvd from Chot and I share her enthusiasm. The movie is eccentric and amazing. Saranghae… the only spoken word from the main cast, yet it’s really a moving moment.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/3-Iron

The weekend has been a hectic trip but I feel good about it. It’s my last break before starting my new job this Friday. I hope I’m all set for the new challenge! aja aja fighting! haha…

It used to be so easy to read. I guess there weren’t much interference back then. There were only 2 things that I liked most and I’m still am crazy about those things: book and movie. I could spent endless hours reading and locked in my room…and I watched a lot of movies and some of it were unknown. Well, we didn’t have internet when I was 17. How weird that sounds now…

Currently, I’m finding it hard to continue reading a book interrupted. There’s E! channel haha and there’s facebook. It’s easy to get distracted.

I have books on the shelf that I forgot that I actually have them. That’s truly sad. But I still remember the feeling of reading Erich Segal’s Love Story and that’s have given me hope. I will be able to read once again. This time I picked up a very challenging book ~ Muhammad Asad’s The Road to Mecca. I find it easy to read fiction but a travel journey and an old one? It’s too early for me to decide…I shall continue following Muhammad Asad’s footsteps and in the process, I hope I have not lost my way into reading.

The thing is about having nothing to do is that there are plenty to do!

I’m sipping the chamomile tea that Kuhan gave to me. I have been having hard time to sleep at the appropriate time nowadays. One of the reason that is contributing to my lack of sleep is that I’m constantly planning (although I want to believe that I’m enjoying doing nothing) and worrying too much about the future. I think I should reflect at my inner belief, we can plan but it’s Allah who decides. I’m definitely need to stop from worrying too much.

Thus, I’m going to end my blogging now In this short period of not having nothing much to do… I want to be able to connect to my inner-self, to drink more tea, to enjoy the greenery, to take a walk, to learn how to cook, to paint, to read…(ahaa and I start planning all over again!)…and to slow down.